The focus of early recovery should be laying a strong foundation for long-term sobriety and this involves searching deep within ourselves.
Personal reflection and self-analysis is an important step to knowing ourselves and learning to accept and love ourselves.
They may initially feel great, but it doesn’t take long before we find ourselves slipping into old patterns, habits and behaviors.
It also becomes very difficult to sort out what are my issues to work on and what are someone else’s.
And you’ll often hear sayings, like, “Odds are good that you’ll meet somebody, but the goods are odd.” And I couldn’t agree more. You gonna focus on recovery.”“Well that sounds boring,” I said.
When I relapsed for the umpteenth time and ended up with a militant black lesbian for a sponsor, she was very clear that I was not going to fuck my way through the rooms this time around.“Baby, you only going to go to women’s meetings and gay meetings,” she said.“But how am I going to get laid going to women’s meetings and gay meetings? But I had just come out of a psych ward, and had also just cracked my head open when I fell backwards after having a grand mal seizure when my meds were changed, so I was wiling to try it another way.
But seriously, I’ve heard the same thing in rehab: “No dating during the first year of recovery.” CMA and NA people have often said the same thing. It's like eating a biscuit that isn't done in the middle- the biscuit can be eaten -but it tastes much better if you are patient and let it cook. HOURS of talking before he even got the first date. Then I had to ask 21 years, 4 shared children, 2 additional children- Wise choice? I think now- should the marriage not survive, my next choice would be the wise one. I know I wouldnt be able to handle a relationship right now...
New romances are not only distracting they can quickly become all-consuming.
While the controversial disease model of addiction continues to provoke heated debate, Nagy discovered that “knowing addiction is a disease has helped me to confront and get over my past prejudices about alcoholics and drug addicts, and to better understand why they might think, act, and react the way they do.” “Change is tough for all of us,” says Nagy, “but it can be especially hard for an addict” because of the strong tendency to rationalize and resist needed change.
Addicts, she adds, “are also known for ‘wanting it now,’ a trait that could be related to their brain chemistry and addictive cravings.” (Or, as non-practicing addict Carrie Fisher memorably put it, “instant gratification takes too long.”) Her summation of the notion behind the AA/NA concept of a higher power is a common one these days: “Some might call their Higher Power God; others might define it as nature, the positive energy of their group, or an unnamed sense of spirit.” While that may sound naïve to some, what the addict must grasp is that white-knuckle notions of triumph through personal will may have to be abandoned along the way, if we are talking about chronic, active addiction.
Compared to the alternative, what would be the wisest choice? So it is not the best thing to go into a relationship in early recovery. I was able to feel all the emotions that working the steps dug up, and process them. I see alot of people here doing just that - jumping from one relationship before one is even complete and then all of a sudden, the new one is just like the old one and then wondering why they always get stuck with the jerks. I was for a couple years after my first and only divorce. Holidays coming up, lonely, you got it - rushed in again- and again it did not work. Wasn't like I was turning down any good guys- most didn't have jobs,still living at home with Momma.
If you were to accomplish this, consider how much strength of character you would have. you could be coping with how sober feels, with how you feel in a new relationship. No relationships seemed to be what I needed, and looking back upon it now. I have a short attention span, and fewer distractions helped me focus on my program. I guess because my coping skills still aren`t fully developed.. Time and possibly counseling/therapy will help you identify who you are and maybe how you did attract the loser or losers in your life. I still like him so today is a good day Honestly Sf J, those 2 years or so, it wasn't real hard.So when you break up with somebody, don’t be surprised when they end up dating your sponsor or sponsee.