Once it got to be a true habit, I didn’t feel like I even had the choice to do it differently.The same thing can happen in dating and relationships. We discussed why I'm so upset and my issues and we discussed him. He's apologised to me in the past for how he treated me. All of this just proves how emotionally unavailable I STILL am. As for my ex, I left saying that we are friends and he wants that. Although, these days he displays much more self reflection and awareness than 2009.When you're in the midst of a dating hiatus — whether it's voluntary or involuntary — there's usually a reason why.You could be in the throes of heartbreak; you could be grieving or going through a difficult time; or — wait for it — you could just be totally happy on your own.Some people can barely go a week without collecting attention somewhere – it’s no wonder it feels as if our lives are collapsing when we experience disappointment if we’re that afraid of being in our own company.What we forget though, is that there’s no such thing as a choice without an opportunity cost, but also that if we effectively make a choice on the basis of getting something that requires that we make another choice that we will not be able to attain that something without making the uncomfortable but very necessary choice.
If we’re filling the relationship space, we can lose the forest for the trees.
Let’s get clear on what a dating and relationship hiatus is: It’s basically putting your romantic activities on pause so that you can take time to not only break a pattern but to also get to know you, so that when you do re-open your romantic doors, that you are coming from a healthier place.
It should be a positive choice to take time out, not the equivalent of being put on the naughty step, because if you’re effectively sulking, stropping, and feeling hard done by, mindset affects actions so you’re not going to be behind your decision as you’ll be undermining it instead.
I once worked in an office with a free M&M dispenser down the hall from my desk. But before I knew it I was hooked on a handful or two of those little sugar pills at 3pm every day like clockwork.
It didn’t matter that they made me feel sick and energy-crashed-out every afternoon. Except - I did worry, I tried to handle this rejection in a healthy way - but I didn't. I sent him a message saying if he's about then I want to see him. I contacted my ex, whose wrong for me and messed me up. I know he would be there for me when it came down to it. I guarantee in a few months I'll be craving someones touch. I remember when I was younger, I would have to avoid those situations I couldn't control myself in, and removing the means, to make it harder for me to call/contact that person.